there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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