I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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