It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
