Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
