Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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