Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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