i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
