We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
