i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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