whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
