she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
