Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
