Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
