Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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