I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
