I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
