You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
