I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
