Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
