My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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