Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize