I'm gonna have a badass scar
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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