i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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