I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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