what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
