Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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