I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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