i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
