you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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