So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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