my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
