Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just pee around me
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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