Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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