why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
