he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
