Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
