he shaved USA in his pubs
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
well you can't waste a boner
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
