Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
