at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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