YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
