After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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