I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
