I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
