haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
