dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
