Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
