like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
