We won't sleep together?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
