Having a random hookup so left but love u
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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