I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
