I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
