k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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