Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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