took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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