what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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