This is not my ceiling
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
