I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
