The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
