Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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