is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize