If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize