I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
